Day 14: K Drama IRL and a flight home

Day 14
Saturday June 28th

After Abbey's speech, our guide talked for a while about Journey and upcoming events, then we closed the ceremony with a prayer.

Then- of course, it was time to take a group photo!

After taking a bagillion-million-trillion photos, we headed to a restaurant to have lunch. Bulgogi hot pot and some yummy ban chan.

After lunch, we finished up some question/ answer videos for a video the company was putting together and it was over.

We hung around and chatted for a bit and then everyone went their separate ways. A lot of the group members were staying on an extra day or two all together in a hostel. I had a hard time watching the van of them roll out together. 

Sunny and Hyo, Korean staff members, took me to a bus stop to catch the bus to the airport.

While I was waiting to cross the street to the bus stop, I heard a noise I had never heard from a human or an animal in my life. It was like a high pitched growl-scream. It was utterly terrifying and everyone on the street turned around to see what it was.

I'll tell you what it was: It was a tiny Korean girl yelling at her boyfriend. She looked like she had the power of a thousand suns and he looked like a sad puppy who went on the rug and was caught by its owner. 

The growl-scream turned into shouting which turned into her slapping him in the face a few times and pulling on his shirt. He never hit back- he just sort of blocked shots and tried to gently pull her hands off of him.

I turned back around, to try not to be rude, but I was so intrigued.

The best part was when the shopkeeper of the store they were in front of very bluntly told them to get out from in front of the store using hand motions like "shoo, shoo"- at which point I noticed the boyfriend's (ex-boyfriends?) phone was in a million tiny pieces on the pavement.

GREEN LIGHT- It was time for me to cross the street. I was sad to leave the K-Drama that was unfolding in front of my eyes IRL.

I asked Suuny and Hyo, "This is normal?" 
Hyo answered, "Not normal, but kind of." -which is the shortest yet most complete answer I could have asked for. 

I said goodbye to Sunny and Hyo and got on the bus.

The crying part was over but I think something was going on between my brain and my body.
I could not stop sweating from the time I stepped foot into the airport until I was on the plane. It wasn't about missing my flight or not knowing how to navigate the airport...it was something different- just shear internal chaos.
This was unfortunate because the guy at Check-In was cute and I looked like I had just stepped out of a sauna.
I told him I wanted to check a second bag so I didn't have to carry it. The first bag was free and the second bag was: 100 dollars!!!! (WHAT THE....????) I told him I would reorganize my bags and make everything fit between my 2 carry-ons and my checked bag.
I rolled my suitcase over to the side which was still directly in front of everyone waiting to check in.
My suitcase sprung open and all of my everything was there for people to see- plus I am still drenched in sweat. 
I finally tetris-ed my way into getting everything to fit.

I walked around the shops before I entered the airport: I bought a copy of Korean Harper's Bazaar and Korean Vogue to take home. I'm going to miss all the advertisements in every store only featuring Korean people.

I had one last meal in Korea- fish cake soup with Udon noodles and a Cass beer. 

I bummed around a few more shops in the terminal (Korean Airports understand my needs...)

The flights home were easy peasy. I had a tight connection in Tokyo to make my flight to Seattle but they took good care of me. I got to go through a secret passage way to make it to my terminal. 

The flight from Tokyo to Seattle was a breeze. I watched Dallas Buyers Club, slept for 5 hours, and watched half of another film and we were landing. 

A police dog found my egg sandwich from Seoul that had been in my backpack for like, 18 hours. I had forgotten about it. The security man had a very serious face and told me I was going to have to report it to customs. I told him I could throw it out but he got even more serious and told me I had to take it to customs. 

Yessir! 

At customs, the lady apologized and told me she had to throw it out. 

Yeah, I know lady, no one wants to eat that egg sandwich. 

Ralf picked me up from the airport and that was that.

In the blink of an eye, I was sobbing in the airport- feeling unprepared to leave for Korea and there I was- back at Sea-Tac. 

The same but not the same. 

Day 14: Closing Ceremony cont...

Day 14
Saturday June 28th

After our speeches, a representative for the host families, her American name is Abbey, gave a speech about her feelings about the program and the adoptee experience. It was really great because she wrote a 5 minute speech and did the translating herself- she read a section in Korean and then in English.

She was Martine's, another member, host mother and shared a lot of great stories about the bond they forged over the 3 days that they spent together. I liked Abbey because she was a little hippie dippie woo-woo like me and Martine- you know- free spirit, energy, good vibes, the universe takes care of us kind of thing.

Abbey meant a lot to me but she didn't know it and here's why...

Tim and I had had a conversation a few days before about a puzzling feeling we were both experiencing:
We are Korean in Korea. Where are the people who look like me???
In a crowd, we could compare features people had.
We could say, "Wow, those people look similar" or maybe we could even say, "They have a similar nose to me" or "They have similar eyes to me"
- but we agreed that we had never found a face in a crowd and said, "Wow. They look like me."

We both found our answers at the end of the Journey. 

Abbey looks the most like me I've ever seen anyone look. 

We have the same cheeks. Similar eyes. Similar noses. 
I had never seen that before.
I wonder if she looked like me when she was younger.

I didn't find my birth mother- but a part of what I was searching for was someone who looked like me. 
Growing up, people would say I looked similar to other people- but most of the time it was just because that person was Asian- not because they genuinely looked like me.

I would always look at Asian people and think, "I don't look like them."
Not that I thought I was white, I just didn't see myself when I looked at other Asian people.
Meeting Abbey satiated something for me that I can't put into words. 

Likewise, after we got home, Tim posted a picture of himself when he was younger. He looked strikingly similar to another group member of ours named Axel. This was extra special because during our trip, Axel and Tim grew close like family.

Axel and Tim on the last day.

All that searching we did to find someone who reflects our own image back at us- through decades, through cities, in crowds, over continents- and we both had our answers delivered to us on this Journey. I am grateful. 

Day 14: The closing ceremony- my speech.

Day 14
Saturday June 28th

We arrived at the closing ceremony. Most of our homestay families were there.
My host father gave me a lovely gift of soaps and lotions. It was so sweet!

We prayed and listened as a few members of the company gave speeches about the purpose of the Journey Program.

Then it was our turn to give speeches. Everyone's speech was from the heart. It was lovely to hear each member of our group highlight their favorite parts of our trip and describe the impact the trip had on them as they prepare to return home.

This was my speech: 

Today I walked into the coffee shop that we had breakfast at every morning in Seoul. 
Before today I had not spoken to the owner personally- only "hello and "thank you."
He greeted me when I walked in and said, "Today is a sad day because you are leaving, but it is a good day because from this day forward, we are friends forever." 

This is how I found so many Korean people truly feel. 

When I came on this Journey, I didn't know what to expect. I knew I was arriving with an open heart and an open mind. 

Over the past two weeks, I have made many friends, learned more about the rich history and culture of Korea, and, of course, enjoyed Korea's delicious food.

My favorite moment was watching traditional drumming and dancing at the folk village. 

I want to express my sincere gratitude to Mr. Park and the Journey staff for their hard work, understanding, patience, and dedication to the adoptee experience. I also would like to thank my host family, the Chae family, for opening their home to me. 

Thank you to the 2014 Journey Members for their bravery to explore a part of ourselves that is unknown. Despite our differences, the bond we share makes us family.

Upon my return, I am determined to learn the Korean language and I plan to return as soon as possible. 

Thank you all for your support and kindness and for welcoming me so warmly to Korea.

I am going home changed. 

Day 14: Best Friends at The Flower Cafe

Day 14
Saturday June 28th

Tim, a fellow Journey member, and me on the last morning of our trip.

While I cried all morning, he didn't tell me I shouldn't be crying. 

He didn't look uncomfortable at seeing me cry. 

He wiped my tears and smiled back. 

He understood I was crying out of joy and sadness.

I woke up early and got ready before everyone else. I got dressed up for the closing ceremony. I did my make-up but made sure to skip the eyeliner and mascara. Tears were inevitable.

While in Seoul, we had breakfast at the same place every morning. I went to the cafe by myself and ordered an Americano. We had to prepare a 5 minute speech to read at the closing ceremony and I needed a few moments to collect my thoughts.

I walked into the cafe and was greeted warmly by the owner. I had seen him every time I went to the cafe but nothing more than "Hello" and "Thank You."
He said to me so genuinely, "Today is a sad day because you are leaving. But it is a good day because from now on we will be friends forever."
He wrote down his name on a piece of paper and told me to find him on Facebook.
I started to cry.

This was the way I was welcomed by almost every Korean person I met on the trip. "Hello. Nice to meet you. We are now friends forever"- and they mean it!
It was similar but not quite the same back home in New York. It was the opposite of the general sentiment of Seattle.

I sat in the sunshine and wrote my speech. My other group members joined me. They could tell I was a wreck.

One of the guys from the group said he didn't feel any sadness. He preferred to live in the moment. He didn't think about leaving the group and leaving Korea. He wanted to enjoy every moment we had together.
Tim and I supported him. We told him that that was fine- it's OK not to feel sad or to not want to cry. Maybe he'd never feel sad about parting ways- maybe this trip was only happiness. Maybe he would experience a more emotional reaction later- in an hour, in a week, or 5 years from now.

We told him that the most important part was to not deny any feelings he did have, whatever they were and whenever they decided to bubble up. Let any emotion that came up- happiness, loss, anger, sadness, resentment, fear- manifest itself and to explore it.
We warned not to tell himself he shouldn't be feeling a certain way, but it was ok if he didn't feel the same way everyone else was feeling.

It can be easy to be confused about how you feel. Especially when all the feelings are new-when they surround a part of yourself that you either denied existed or didn't know was there.
You look around a room at a bunch of people crying and think, "What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel this way? They are so emotional and I don't feel anything."
On the other hand, you can be your own enemy by saying to yourself things like, "Why am I so sad and so angry? I was given this opportunity to come to Korea with almost all my expenses paid, and I feel so sad. I should be happy!"
It's ok to feel everything or nothing or some where in between- as long as you aren't telling yourself how to feel or not to feel.

I returned to the hotel and brought my bags downstairs and we made our way to the closing ceremony...

Day 13: Beach Day in Jeju

Day 13
Friday June 27th

We had the whole day free to ourselves until 3pm.

We had breakfast together and then all met down at the beach on our own time.

It was sunny, hot and sandy with a light breeze blowing off the water. The water was so clear and ranged from aquamarine to teal to dark blue.

I arrived at the beach in my two piece: an off white tube top with a gold zipper front and forest green bottoms.
Our guide loved throwing people in the water who didn't want to swim. The first time, in Busan, I out smarted him by going in on my own accord. I tried to get away with it again but he followed me down to the water. I was waist deep but before I could dive in, he swiped my legs out from under me and I got a nose full of salt water. It was all in good fun- but I prepared myself for a second sabotage. I filled a water bottle with water and made a huge ball of seaweed and kept it by my side the rest of the afternoon.

He tried to throw me in the water a second time an hour later. He spotted my seaweed/ water arsenal sitting next to me. 
I stood up- armed and ready. 
At which point, I fell for the oldest trick in the book. 
He came up close to me. Pointed behind me and whispered something I couldn't understand. I asked, "What?" 4 times before finally looking behind me.
He snatched me up and started carrying me to the water. I poured the bottle of water on his head but he was undeterred. I started thrashing around and putting my weight backwards because I knew I didn't have that far to fall.
At this point, it wasn't about not going in the water; it was about not losing. 

Well kids, there were no winners or losers that day.
I don't know exactly what happened or how it happened but I wriggled out of his arms and landed in the sand. Topless. My hands around my chest and my gold zipper bikini top- which flung off like a rubber band- way, way out of reach. Our female staff member came rushing over with a towel while everyone else held their breath and then finally burst out laughing.
I thought it was hilarious. Our tour guide thought it was embarrassing.
The moral of the story is: I always win. Don't mess with me. (Or I'll flash you) 
Let's just say, no one tried to throw anyone in the water after that.

We hung out at the beach until lunch time- our guide made Japanese curry! We had to pack everything up and make it to the airport to catch our flight back to Seoul.

When we got to the airport, we all sat in the cafeteria and the staff handed out papers. We wrote our name at the top and then passed them around to have everyone sign them like a yearbook.We had a few hours at the airport to shop and grab dinner and then boarded the plane.

We arrived at the Women's Building (our hostel) just in time for curfew (the elevator stops running at 11pm and we were on the 13th floor). They handed out our papers that everyone signed. I organized my luggage and then went to sleep. It was my last night in Korea. 

Day 12: A Very Special Evening

Night 12
Thursday June 26th

I started to get anxious about leaving Korea.
I wasn't ready. I didn't feel like I had enough time.
I had 2 more days but I knew they'd fly by in a heartbeat.

That night everyone gathered to play games and drink together but one of my roommates opted to hang out in the room and have a good chat.

We talked about the trip, about our experience as adoptees, about our impressions of other group members, about how the trip has changed us, and what might happen when we went back to our regular life.

A glass of red wine and a long chat was exactly what I needed.

Just as we were wrapping up our conversation, we got a knock on the door. The rest of the group had bought fireworks and were heading out to the beach. My roommate turned in for a early night's sleep and I went out with the group.

It was a magical night. We all knew it was the last night together to be wild and free in Korea.

First we stopped at a small stand that had carnival games- balloon darts and a stacked block/ baseball toss.
We played, won more fireworks, and headed towards the water. There were beaches and a series of bridges and pavillions along the way. The edge of the water was lit up with rainbow lights that changed color and reflected off the water.

We stood on the bridge in a line and lit the fireworks all at the same time. You held the stick in your hand and they let off 6 tiny explosions.

After the fireworks, we all sat in a pavilion and had a long talk. Two volunteer staff members who had been on the trip before told us about their Journey Trip and their experiences when they went back home. Other people shared their experiences too. 

Have I mentioned we talked a lot about our feelings? ; )

It was great to have the opportunity to do a lot of the processing while on the trip with people who can relate to your experience. I feel very grateful to have had such a great group of people to travel with. 

The trust we all had in each other was so strong. 

It's crazy to think that these people were strangers to me and to each other less than two weeks before. 

Their openness and honesty was a treasure.No one pushed anyone to share if they didn't want to but we knew it was a free space to talk about anything. 

Even the people who opened up less, listened intently while they worked things out in their own way.

It was already past the point of being late. We all headed back to the hotel together for some rest. 

It was a great way begin the end of the Journey. 

Day 12: Touring Jeju

Day 12
Thursday June 26th

We started our day at Sunsan Ilchulbong, a sleeping volcano on Jeju Island. It was a little bananas there. Jeju Island is very popular for Chinese and Korean tourists. What should have been a peaceful hike up a pretty volcano, ended up being a hot sticky mess where I was shoulder to shoulder with strangers scream talking at each other, taking photos in the middle of a staircase without warning, and spitting and burping with total disregard.
The view was pretty though.

Below the volcano, down by the water, women were selling live seafood they had caught.

Older women swim out into the water and fish for abalone, sea cucumber, and octopus with no equipment. 

Our guide bought us some of each to sample. 

The sea cucumber and abalone- they cut up right in front of you and you eat raw. 

The octopus they flash boil. 

It is served with gochujang and raw onion. 

The texture of the abalone was not what I expected at all. I thought it would be soft like sashimi but it was tough like tendon or cartilage. The sea cucumber was also chewier than I thought it would be. 

Women divers

Abalone live (top left) Women selling it (bottom left) 

Abalone and sea cucumber raw (top right) Gambe! (cheers!) (bottom right) 

1. Drink soju   2. Nom on sea creatures

After, we had one of my favorite meals of the trip- seafood soup, spicy pork, and grilled mackerel. We had to order a second fish because we all gobbled up the first one. 

Next we went to another folk village. It was very similar to the first. The highlight was playing with the traditional Korean toys and games. 

Swings that you stand up on and go really high. 

Tops. 

A game with sticks and a tall cylinder can you throw the sticks into. 

Stilts. 

Stick and hoop. 

Simplest of all, a round patch of sand with heavy rocks in it- to show strength and settle agreements. 

 At the folk village, they had hydrangeas as big as my head!

After that we visited a waterfall. 

In the parking lot at the waterfall, they had food vendors. Our guide bought a cup of silk worms for everyone to try.
I am not a picky eater in any sense- but silk worms were hard to me. It didn't help that I saw them crawling around the day before in the market. Bugs. Yikes. That's some Timon and Pumba ish. But- I tried it. Who knows when I'd get the opportunity again.

I hated it.

 I hated the idea. I hated the texture. 

I don't remember the taste because the first two things were clouding my senses. 

But I'm glad I tried it.

While the group had dinner, I shopped at a local department store- E Mart. It was my last chance to get goodies before I left Korea.