Should I go to Korea in a group?

I have had a lot of people ask if they'd recommend going to Korea for the first time with a group on a tour or by themselves or with a group of friends.

That depends...

It depends on:

• Are you a group person? 
• Are you an itinerary person? 
• Do you need a lot of time to yourself and privacy? 
• Do you want to be with other adoptees that are experiencing Korea for the first time? 
• Are you ok with being with a group of people you haven't met? 
• What do you want out of the experience: to experience Korean daily life or see lots of things in Korea or both? 
• Where are you financially? (Many groups will sponsor or partially sponsor your trip)
• Do you only have a specific window of time to travel or can you go when the organization is planning a trip?
• If you're thinking of going with friends, are they on their own agenda or are they willing to be your guide? In other words, are they going back and you're going with them or are they going with you to help you or both? 

My apprehensions about a tour- before changing my mind and thinking it was a good idea.
"I don't want to be a tourist in Korea. I want to go with someone I know who is Korean. I want to stay with their family or in a hostel. I want to do what I do every time I travel- try to blend in the best as possible. Eat what the locals eat. Do what the locals do. Live the life I would have lived if I grew up there. I don't want to search for my birth parents. I just want to see what Korea is like. I don't want to go with a group of adoptees and stick out. Putting on a hanbok, making kim chi, and going site seeing is NOT going to make me feel more Korean."


My reasons for choosing a tour: 

1. I am impulsive. I spent 27 years not being ready to go to Korea. When I decided I was ready to go, I HAD to go. 
2. I had no money. 
3. After a year of talking to other adoptees, I knew being in a group with other adoptees going through the same emotions would bebeneficial. (Did I get along with everyone in the group? No. Were there times I felt like, "Oh my God, I can't be around you right now" to people I DID like on the trip? Yes. But I can genuinely say it was in a "You're a part of my family. I love you. But seriously, go away" sort of way) 
4. The trip that I ended up going on paid for everything but my airfare for a 2 week trip. (Seriously, everything. I spent money there but it was on coffee and souvenirs) 
5. They planned everything. I didn't have to think at all before I left except book my ticket. 
6. This tour included a birth parent search and a file review. 
7. I knew a trip like this would give me a good idea of how to approach another trip back by myself. 

I loved the tour I went on. 

My group was amazing.
Like I said, being in a group was not sunshine and roses and warm fuzzy thoughts every moment of the trip. We were 11 strangers from all over the world with different objectives of what we wanted to get out of the trip. We were different personalities all coping with high levels of stress, anxiety, and insecurities.
That said, this experience bonded us from the start. I looked around the room at the 10 other people and thought, "This is it. 2 weeks. Non-stop. These people are my people. Make it work." There is a level of comradery from the start. We all share the experience of being transracially adopted. We all had a level of bravery to fly across the world to share this experience. No one else will experience what we are about to experience.

Everything was taken care of.
Food. Itinerary. Site seeing and activities. Accommodations.
We saw a lot of Korea- Gyeong Ju, Jeju, Busan, Sokcho.
We did a lot of things that I would never have gone to on my own- folk villages, landmarks, etc.
I am not a history person but learning about Korea's history helped me understand the people and a culture that thought adoption was the right choice.
Participating in cultural activities that I initially thought were cheesy, made me feel prideful.


Things to consider: (This is based on MY tour. Every tour is different, so research)

• I was with my group members all the time. If we weren't on the bus together or site seeing together, we were in the hotel together 5 to a living space (sometimes all one big room, sometimes 2 bedrooms there was enough physical space every where we went but not a lot of 'space' space). 
• We were on a tight itinerary that allowed us to see a lot but it did not allow for a lot of down time, free time, or sleep. 
• Really look into what the tour's motivations and objectives are in bringing you back to Korea. Ours had a TV crew attached to it that was not mentioned to the full extent prior to the trip. It wasn't a big deal to me, I wasn't filmed, but it was an issue for other group members. 

What I would do differently if I could do it all again: 

• Learn more of the language prior to going on the trip. (Not necessary, I got around fine, but to quell a lot of my own insecurities, I wish I taught myself more before the trip. 
• I would have booked 4-5 days after the tour to myself in a hostel and traveled around to see things that weren't a part of the tour. 

I can't say what it's like going back with friends or in another capacity but these are some pros and cons to a tour. It's not for everyone.

In the end, I loved the program. I loved the people. I loved the food. I loved what I saw. I love what I learned. There were times when I was tired and crabby, but there was no point that I regretted my decision. I am truly grateful to the company that took my on the tour. I only know of one person from the group who walked away feeling let down by the experience but that was a result of a series of small issues that led to a big issue and a lack of communication and understanding.

Even though there were points of frustration along the way, I had a positive experience going with a group for the first time.